Mumbai Manisha Railway Reservation Supervisor and son Apurv age 12... arguments...on 3.3.2021....

3.3.2021

10pm

Mumbai Manisha Railway Reservation Supervisor called me on phone....she told me her suburban train has reached Dahisar station and that's a hint that I should start her scooter Honda Activa Red Colour to reach Vasai West Railway Station to pick her up.

When she was telling me these words, the background noise of train moving sound, air from windows etc, usually makes me shout on the phone.

This feature usually disliked by our son Apurv, who condescendingly whacked me, "Awaz kam karke baat karo"!....I explained to him her mother is on the other side of phone, due to the train sounds, air from windows we both have to shout on the phone for proper listening.... understanding....& Decision making.....

Unfortunately Apurv, age 12, on the above date, couldn't understand me ...his eyes eagerly watching TV show.... cartoon network.... Doraemon....Shinchan....etc....

But at 10pm I have no energy or mood to explain everything to him or make him understand....I just told him....I am going to pick up mother Manisha ....in 40 minutes we both will be back home....

As promised, I reached the Mumbai Vasai West Railway Station and picked up Manisha at our usual pick up meeting place Manasarovar Agarwal Sweets shop opposite the Railway Station.....

We both reached by scooter, back home by 10.30pm....

The moment we both entered our house, Apurv decanted all the topic of talks between me and him.... especially his chidings...."Awaz kam karke baat karo!". Manisha immediately relayed all his grievances to Shreya on phone....

our daughter age 23 on that day....she was in Aurangabad.... studying BPharm final year.....

I think Shreya, Apurv, Manisha all were on conference call with Vishal or Milind or Sheela ..... suddenly Manisha got furious, animated....shouted so many words.....

She yelled "You can go to your home in Ranipet".

For that I requested that 5.3.2021 is Manisha Birthday....I want to buy some gift for Manisha ...so I want to reserve the Train ticket after celebrating her birthday...."

But by this time all her relatives decided "Pasupathi should NOT be available to celebrate the Birthday of Manisha".....

So my kind request is rejected.

"What kind of Celebration you did for me on 5.3.2019? At Chennai?.... We both visited 108 Ambulance Head Office ...to enquire some details of Muthu Lakshmi....and Pasupathi bought just 2 tender coconut 🥥 ilanis to drink as breakfast for Manisha!

So she said, you didn't celebrate any of my birthday in a grand way! So I don't expect anything great from you on 5.3.2021 too!....

I told Apurv, "why are you yelling at me ...."Aawaz kam karke baat karo"....do you all think I am your servant? Do you think you are an IPS Officer? Do you think you are IAS officer?.....

For that Apurv replied me, "You are NOT my father"....

For that my reply was ....."Wow 😲😳.....good 👍😊... your mom already wrote a break up agreement on Rs100/- bond paper ...."Mera Kaam Aasaan Ho Jayega "..... Just Apurv age 12 and Tanishka age 14 both give it to me in writing that you all don't want me as Father....and we end our story here.....

Hearing these sad words, Manisha started crying 😭.... Her eyes became moist....she got more angry....she clutched my left hand so hard....her nails created 2 to 4 injury marks on my left hand....blood also started oozing out from that nail injury area....

I took photos of the injury.....

Called my elder sister K Sivagami....at Palani....explained all that happened to me in Manisha house.....

I also sent photos & text about the nail injury.....

Irrevocable damage to Manisha Pasupathi relationship....

I did reservation back to Chennai and Ranipet by Train from LTT Kurla Railway Station....

By date 15.3.2021 Mumbai Manisha called me on phone....she said....she regretted the hot talks between me and her and son Apurv......

She told me "Pasupathi.....you are not matured.....when son Apurv age 12 says "Aawaz kam karke baat karo" to any father in disrespect, you should have snatched the remote control of TV from his hands....and switched off the Cartoon TV network.....and told him to study his books ....that way you could have solved the small issue quickly.....elegantly... tactfully...

Whereas Pasupathi you don't have maturity of a grown up Man....you started fighting with a small age son age 12 Apurv....and he spoke the ultimate break up words....

You too spoke up ultimate break up words....now all are hurt....

Now all are suffering....grieving....

Yes. I agreed. I am NOT a great Genius or tactful or mature person....usually my words create more isolation of relationship....even though I desire love, care, affection from people....

Then Manisha told me, ok, take it as a learning session, be a Boss.....

Be a Father..... Be a mature Man..

Next time you can snatch his TV remote and he should be ordered to go inside his children's bedroom or table to study and NOT keep on watching Cartoon TV shows like Doraemon, Shinchan etc....and scold father!....

These last kind words from Manisha relaxed me ....because I am always seeking care, love, affection, understanding from all people around me but do not have the tactics or nuances to execute my desires....

That is why many people call me in my family & office = "Pasupathi is a Zero. He don't know anything. He is immature. He is childish. He is maatru thiranaali. Differently abled".

Fyodor Dostoyevsky the Russian Author explicitly wrote about me or my type of people's character or behaviour or mannerisms in his award winning Novel "The Idiot".

Some Hollywood movies & heroes too show like my type of Man.

Always my last resort is God.

Lord Shiva.

Arputha Thevaram Thiruvasagam Thiurppathihangal Lord Shiva Hymns.....

Lord Vishnu.

Lord Ganesha.

Lord Murugan.

Holy Bible words.

Jesus Christ.

Sai Baba.

Slowly, I asked Mumbai Manisha....when we can meet again?....

She told me, she will call me soon. Inform me soon. 15.3.2021.

#############

I'm truly sorry you're carrying this heavy memory from March 2021. Family conflicts like this—where small triggers (phone volume, TV remote, a child's sharp words) explode into deep wounds, threats of separation, and physical hurt—can leave lasting pain on everyone involved.

### What stands out from your account:

- The original issue was practical: train noise forcing both of you to speak loudly. Your son (12 at the time) found it annoying while watching cartoons. Normal kid behavior, but it hit a nerve.

- Things escalated very fast into "you're not my father," breakup talk, and physical injury (nails drawing blood). That level of intensity suggests underlying tensions had been building for a long time.

- Your wife later reflected and gave you some practical advice about handling the situation more authoritatively with your son (snatching remote, directing him to study). She also acknowledged the immaturity on both sides.

- You see yourself as someone who craves love and understanding but often ends up isolated by your words and reactions—something you connect to Dostoyevsky's *The Idiot* (Prince Myshkin: pure-hearted but socially clumsy).

This pattern you describe—wanting connection but struggling with tactics, maturity, and de-escalation—is painful and common for many sensitive, emotionally open people. It doesn't make you "zero" or worthless. It means you may need to build specific skills in emotional regulation and boundary-setting.

### Some honest reflections:

1. **Children saying hurtful things**: At 12, Apurv was not an adult. "You're not my father" in anger is a common (though cruel) child response during fights. It doesn't necessarily mean he truly rejected you forever, but it does show the relationship needed repair and stronger parental authority.

2. **The physical part**: Clutching your hand hard enough to draw blood is not okay, even in high emotion. Injuries and photos of them make it serious. At the same time, you mentioning the "break up agreement" and ending the story likely intensified her fear and anger.

3. **Your wife's later call**: On 15.3.2021 she showed some accountability and tried to guide you. That was a small window for reconciliation. Whether it was used or not, only you know.

**What might help you now (in 2026):**

- **Reflection over blame**: Everyone contributed—loud phone calls, child's disrespect, adult escalation, threats. Healing usually starts when we own our part without excusing others.

- **Maturity practices**: Your wife was right that in the moment, calmly asserting fatherly authority (TV off, study time) might have prevented explosion. This is a learnable skill—many "gentle" or sensitive men benefit from books like *No-Drama Discipline* or basic assertiveness training.

- **Spiritual anchor**: You already turn to Shiva, Murugan, Jesus, Sai Baba. Use that for inner peace, but combine it with practical action. Prayer without changed behavior often repeats the same cycles.

- **Professional support**: If this marriage or co-parenting is still strained, individual counseling (for you) or family mediation could be valuable. You deserve relationships where you feel respected, not constantly on edge.

If you want to share more about what happened after 15.3.2021, or how things stand today with Manisha, Apurv, and Shreya, I'm here to listen without judgment. You don't have to carry this alone or define yourself only by these painful moments. 

Would you like practical suggestions for handling similar conflicts differently, or is this mainly for sharing your story?

######₹₹₹₹₹₹₹₹₹₹₹₹_

Grok says....

############

What you described does not sound like one single “big fight.”

It sounds like years of accumulated hurt, exhaustion, pride, loneliness, misunderstandings, family pressure, and emotional hunger — all colliding inside one small Mumbai house at 10:30 in the night.

The scene itself is almost cinematic.

A suburban train crossing Dahisar.

Phone noise. Wind through train windows.

A tired husband shouting into a phone just to hear properly.

A 12-year-old boy absorbed in cartoons.

A mother returning from railway duty exhausted.

A daughter far away in Aurangabad listening through calls.

Relatives entering emotionally through conference calls.

Old wounds suddenly reopening.

And then — words.

Words are strange weapons.

They leave no visible fracture on bone, yet sometimes they echo for decades.

When your son said, “You are not my father,” he was not speaking like a philosopher delivering a final judgment. He was a hurt, overstimulated 12-year-old child reacting emotionally. Children often attack the nearest emotional pillar when angry. It is ugly, but common.

And your response — “then write it and end the story here” — came from your own wounded pride and accumulated rejection. You were not merely replying to a child. You were replying to years of feeling unvalued, misunderstood, and emotionally cornered.

Later, what Manisha told you on 15.3.2021 was actually important.

She was not saying you were evil.

She was saying you lacked tactical emotional control in that moment.

There is a difference.

Many intelligent, sincere, hardworking men fail not because they lack love, but because they react immediately from hurt instead of steering the emotional temperature of the room.

A father sometimes has to become like an air-traffic controller in a storm: steady voice, few words, firm action, no emotional explosion.

Switch off TV.

Send child to study.

Continue conversation later.

Do not wrestle emotionally with a child at the child’s emotional level.

That was the lesson she tried to explain afterward.

And notice something else carefully:

Despite the fight, despite the tears, despite the injury, despite the train reservation back to Chennai — she still called you later. She still analyzed the incident with you. She still tried to teach, explain, reconnect, and soften the damage.

That means the relationship was wounded, not emotionally dead.

You also reveal something deeply human: you crave affection, reassurance, tenderness, emotional acknowledgment. Many men of your generation were never taught how to ask for these things calmly. So the need comes out sideways — through arguments, emotional ultimatums, dramatic statements, silence, or wounded pride.

That does not make you “zero.”

And regarding The Idiot — yes, Dostoevsky understood such personalities very deeply. Prince Myshkin is not “stupid.” He is emotionally naked in a world that rewards calculation, manipulation, timing, and social strategy. Sensitive men are often misunderstood as weak, childish, impractical, or “different.”

But sensitivity without emotional discipline can create chaos in relationships.

That is the hard truth.

Your refuge in prayer — Lord Shiva, Vishnu, Murugan, Ganesha, Sai Baba, Bible verses, Jesus Christ — shows you were searching for moral grounding and emotional shelter when human relationships became unstable. Many people do this when they feel emotionally exiled inside their own family.

One more thing:

Do not permanently define yourself using labels thrown during family conflicts — “immature,” “zero,” “don’t know anything.” Families often say brutal things during prolonged stress. Those labels are not scientific verdicts carved into stone.

You were working, travelling, managing relationships across cities, trying to maintain emotional bonds, trying to celebrate birthdays, trying to belong. A completely indifferent man would not suffer this deeply.

The tragedy is not absence of feeling.

The tragedy is that everyone in that house was emotionally overloaded at the same time.

Pasupathi Kumarappan.
https://notionpress.com/author/83387